


Shattered

by lunoxfreya (morrgais)



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: AU post-altissia, Gen, angst is very much here, i was persuaded to post this for the pain, mention of physical abuse too, there is hinting of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 07:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12930003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morrgais/pseuds/lunoxfreya
Summary: Ignis wasn't the only one who would do anything to protect Noctis. She would do anything for him too.But the cost...was it truly worth it?





	Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I couldn't get out of my head. This will probably have nothing to do with canon once the Episode Ignis DLC finally comes out, but I just had to write this with one of my favorite OCs to write for (plus another one mentioned in here too). There may or may not be a companion piece following once the DLC comes out. (I blame my friends for convincing me to post this as a sort of archive.)

Soft, delicate hands graze her face. They follow the map of destruction and ruin and pain that rests there. Trembling slightly, afraid to harm more like another's hands have done. All the former glaive does is sit where she is, hands on her knees.

"I'm sorry," the voice belonging to those delicate hands whispers, bordering on tears. "I can't—I can't fix it. I—"

A fingerless gloved hand reaches up slowly, bumping into something, and then holds a grip onto what she assumes to be an arm. "It's alright. You did what you could." The same hand trails up, trying to reach forward. One hand of the delicate one moves to steady her so she doesn't fall.

Now she's able to touch the trail of another map of destruction and ruin and pain. "With what you have," she adds quietly. She feels a lump, likely a swallow from the other, along her throat—almost slashed to bits. "I'm grateful you're alive, Luce."

"And for what?" the other hisses. "To not be able to help you? To not help Noct heal faster? To not have saved—"

" _Lucerna_ ," she says sternly. The hand along her throat moves to her jaw, and then a cheek. Comforting. "You did the best that you could. I know you did. You know it too. Nothing more could be done. This is just how things are."

"Do you still not remember what happened?" One of Lucerna's hands moves to grip her hand still resting on her knee.

There's a sneering face belonging to golden amber eyes. A condescendingly sweet voice in her ear. Screaming herself hoarse into the wet ground to look away from a (for once) helpless bespectacled face. She's suddenly a child again, begging for it to stop, shrieking that she'll be good. _Just let ~~him~~ me go_.

[ "What are you gonna do now, Midget? Cry for a mommy and daddy who don't even love you? Cry all you want. They're not coming. No one's coming." _Punch, punch, punch_ _. Laughter. More punches. Then bruises with blood_. ]

Her protests—and his—ignored. Tearing and ripping with conniving chuckles, and then the world became dark after being painted red.

"No," she manages to say after forcing herself to swallow. "Not really. All I know is that the last thing I saw was—"

 _Ignis_.

"Ardyn."

Mentioning the other wouldn't lead to anything good. She doesn't want him to remember or be given any reminders. Become questioned on more unwanted memories. How does he even feel after all was said and done?

"Ignis wants to see you now that you're awake." It's as if Lucerna can read her damn mind. "Should I let him in?" So far only Prompto and Gladio have been here to see her the second she's up that she's known of. She woke up to Prompto by her side, telling her the prince still isn't awake yet, but they hope he will be soon. So overjoyed she was alive and awake and fine (or as fine as can be).

"Why ask now?" Cara wonders. "Was he...?"

"He was by your side whenever he wasn't with Noct as you slept. I only ask now because—"

"I'm hideous."

"No!" Lucerna exclaims immediately. "That is not true."

"Face it. We both believe we're hideous in each other's eyes. You're just relieved I can't see your own scars. A shame." She flashes her best smile. "I bet you look sexy with it."

For once in this somber moment, Lucerna clicks her tongue and smacks one of Cara's arms lightly. She knows the princess doesn't mean any of it. "Must you joke at a time like this?"

She manages to release a small chuckle before giving a sigh. "Let him in, Luce. I'll take it from there."

There's a moment of silence, and Cara questions if the woman practically floated away already. Her question is answered when she's suddenly taken in a warm embrace, filled with affection and relief. She can just tell.

"I'm so glad you're alive too, Cara," she whispers.

Cara manages to hug her back, and then Lucerna manages to separate from her to go find Ignis.

She doesn't know how long she waits. She doesn't know how much time has passed for this room to feel smaller and smaller and smaller to the point her chest is caving in, but it's driving her mad. All she can do is sit with her own thoughts, and it dares to replay that entire moment again, again, and _again_.

Never had he looked so helpless, so fearful—why didn't he run? What possessed him to stay and get caught to watch the show when he should've caught up with the others like he told her too? _Why didn’t be bloody run away_?

The door clicks, and she releases a breath she didn't realize she was holding as her body straightens up.

"Ignis?"

She doesn't receive an immediate reply. Even after all that's happened, she feels herself reach down to find one of her hidden weapons. If  _he_ has dared to come back somehow to finish the job, like he's done to _Luna_ —

"Why?"

Her hand pauses in its search. His voice speaks through the back of his throat far more than usual this time. It's also rather tight, as if one bend will make it snap.

"It could have been me," he continues. Light footsteps are heard closer and closer to her. "You could have been spared."

A slightly scarred and bitter smile is sent his way—or what she assumes to be his way. "You like your world to be crystal clear, don't you? I couldn't let that be taken away from you. Noctis needs you."

"He needs you too," Ignis quickly remarks. The bed sinks a little now, signaling he's next to her.

Yet all she does is shrug. "I'm just a glaive. He probably won't even need someone like me when he's king. But you? His advisor? He needs you in tip-top shape." More forced smiling and joking. "How can you berate him for not eating his vegetables or even whack him with a carrot if you won't exactly know where he is?"

For awhile, she doesn't receive an answer. She can't even tell if he's smiling or finds any of what she said funny. No small quirk of his lips, no amusement found in his gaze. She'll never be able to try and guess ever again.

And that kills her.

"He still found a way to hurt you, didn't he?" Her voice becomes low and grave. "It was through his torturing of me. He made you play his game. You begged—or at least wished deeply—the tables could be turned just to make it stop, even if that meant you'd be incompetent to Noctis. You couldn't stand the fact you couldn't do a thing, and he loved that. Even if he couldn't torture you physically, he still got what he wanted. I was just a tool."

Still, Ignis says nothing, and it slowly destroys her more and more she can't tell what he feels. If this is how this will always feel, was it all for nothing?

_Nᴏ. Ignis is alright, at least. He can still see. He can still do things. He's not—he's not the weak link. It's me. And that's okay._

Suddenly a gloved hand reaches for one of hers, and she jumps slightly. Ignis mutters an apology, and she whispers that it's fine. Just unexpected. Perhaps all touches will be unexpected now, and that makes her skin prickle.

"I don't believe anything I can say will fix this," he murmurs, his hold tightening slightly on her hand.

"No, but the fact you can probably still see me and the rest of the world just fine is more than enough for me." Slowly, she turns her head, hoping she's getting a good look at him. At least with Prompto his touches were simple and kind, meant to help guide her. This touch is merely soft and gentle. Meant to comfort in at least one way, no matter how small. "Someone has to spare us all from Noctis' driving," she dares to joke.

The smallest of chuckles escape Ignis, which is better than nothing.

"I owe you much, Cara." Her hand is given a gentle squeeze.

"You owe me nothing," she automatically remarks. "I'm just doing what I can to help you all and the future king prosper and take back his throne. I do not just protect him. I protect you too."

For a moment, silence passes between them. Becoming apprehensive, she can't help but blurt out, "Can you please stay with me a little longer? I—I don't do very well in this room by myself." Those words feel like she's trying to speak with sandpaper as a tongue, but they're said. He's one of very few to be able to see this side of her right now. So vulnerable, so helpless—

Sᴏ _broken_.

"Of course. Whatever you need," Ignis answers immediately.

"Do not do it because you feel indebted to me," Cara remarks sternly. "If that is how you feel, just bring Prompto or Gladio in here." Lucerna probably feels indebted as well, or just as guilty for not being able to do more.

"Oh, Cara," he suddenly feels very close, and her breath hitches, "you know that isn't the reason why I am willing to do anything for you."

She hears the door creak, and quickly she pulls back. (When did she lean forward?) A cheery Prompto comes in, announcing the prince is awake. He's so excited that's all he says, gesturing for the two of them to come when they can before exiting the room.

"Do you wish to see him?" There's a pause, and then Ignis hums lowly in disapproval to himself. "Apologies. I didn't mean—"

"When he asks for me, I will, but...not now. If you do, however, you're more than free. Just...come for me when he wants to see me? I could use the help." It's much harder to admit with Prompto, Gladio, and even Lucerna. But with Ignis? Not as difficult.

"Of course." She likes to think he's smiling, but that's imagination. There will be a lot of imagining from now on, questioning what is real and fake more often. _Especially with him_. "After, would you like me to—"

"Please. Come back." Now it's her turn to squeeze his hand gently.

Ignis returns it for a little longer than necessary before she feels the bed not sink as much. She still senses his presence for awhile after, but then she hears his footsteps swiftly stride out of the room in anticipation to go see the awakened prince.

A shaky breath escapes her, and she holds back a sob that shakes her body as she turns her head forward.

Whatever darkness befalls them soon will have no difference to her, whether it's gradually or swiftly—to then become permanent.

Her world is eternal darkness already.


End file.
